How will I know if I met the right person I should marry?
The choice of a marriage partner should not be
based on"I get a warm,wonderful feeling whenever
we’re together&I want to have that warm wonderful
feeling forever,so let’s go get married" Feelings
have no logic on their own. They need to be
acknowledged but they need considerable
assistance from your brain. Marriage means
choosing the person you will spend the rest of you
life with. This is a very long time to spend with one
person. This person will live with you,eat meals
with you,sleep with you&go on vacation with you.
More important yet,this person will share your
children. You need to choose wisely. The decision
should not be made based on feelings alone. You
need to ask yourself some tough questions. The
decisions have to be made on solid considerations.
Will this person be a good partner?Is she mature
enough to put her own selfish desires aside to look
out for what is best for the family?Is he prepared to
be a good provider?What is his track record?Is he
responsible enough to get a good job&keep it?Will
this person be a good parent?Can you stand the
thought of your children turning out exactly like
this person?They will, you know. Children spend a
lot of time with their parents&consequently pick up
many or most of their parents’ character traits. You
had better like your spouse’s traits a lot because
you will be seeing them again in your children. If
something were to happen to you,would you
completely trust this person,alone,with the task of
raising&forming your children? This is not a
pleasant thought,but it is an important
consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age
with grandchildren gathered around the bed.
Sometimes a parent dies&leaves young children in
the care of the other parent.
If you feel that you would need to be around to
correct or lessen this person’s influence on your
children,then you are considering the wrong
person. Does this person share your faith in God?
God does not give us children so that we can mold
them into the coolest,most popular people in
school. Our job is to get them to heaven. To do
that, we need to raise them believing in God&in
His Church. It is tough to do that if only one parent
believes. Saying"this is right and this is wrong&I
want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five"
does not work. Small children ask about eight
zillion questions in a single day. The answers to
those questions go a long way toward forming the
kind of adults they will become. Who will be
answering those questions for your children?
Does this person you are marrying have sexual
self-control?Single people sometimes have this
idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex
festival&that as long as they have each other,they
will never be tempted by other people..Wrong!
There are many times in every marriage when one
partner or the other is sexually unavailable. There
are also times when spouses,just get on each
other’s nerves. At times like this,other people can
seem very appealing. That can be
dangerous,because there are plenty of very
attractive people out there who are willing to make
them available to married men&women.
Do you want someone who has never said "no" to
sex?If he is not good at saying "no" at eighteen, it
won’t be different at forty. Do you want to worry
about whether or not your spouse is being faithful?
What kind of marriage can you have with someone
you couldn’t trust on a business trip?These are
very important questions&if you are not
comfortable with all of the answers, you should
definitely not marry this person.
None if this is to say that feelings play no role at
all in a marriage decision. You don’t have to,"Well,I
suppose that you would make a good
spouse&parent,so even though I don’t particularly
like you I guess I’ll marry you"
You need to be happy&excited about the prospect
of spending your life with someone. Your brain
however must acknowledge that this person is a
good catch. Don’t listen to your heart or head
alone. Wait until your heart and head agree
